Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

In the morning when im getting ready to go to school, im bursting with self confidence, but when i get to school, all the hustle and bustle and cliques and drama make me feel insecure. What can i do during the day to make myself feel better?

If you lack self esteem and are low in self confidence then you probably spend a lot of time wishing you had the confidence to act and behave in the way people with high self esteem do.

If you want to be happier and derive more from life incresing your self confidence and self esteem is the key and its easy to do with these simple tips.

What Low Self Esteem Means

Having low self esteem and lacking confidence in your ability to do the things you’ve always wanted to do can distort your views, making you think everything always seems to go right for everyone but you.

The Cure

In reality, people who appear to be high in self confidence and always seem to get what they want simply believe in themselves. Being high in self esteem opens you up to the possibility of success rather than failure.

If you are high in self esteem you understand that failing at something means just that, you have failed at one task, it does not make you a failure.

What is Self Esteem?

Self esteem refers to the way you perceive yourself and the way you think others perceive you.

If you have low self esteem then you will tend to have a low opinion of yourself, your capabilities and how people perceive you.

If you have a high sense of self esteem then you will have a positive and realistic opinion of yourself and how people perceive you. You will have a good awareness of your strengths and weaknesses.

How to recognize if you are suffering from Low Self Esteem

If you’re internal thoughts tend to begin with:

• I can’t…

• I must…

• I should…

The chances are you are suffering from low self esteem

How to Build Confidence and Self Esteem

People with a highly developed sense of self esteem have the self confidence to achieve their goals. Succeeding at the goals they set for themselves adds to the self confidence building blocks they already have in place.

Each successive achievement creates opportunities for greater success and self belief which increases their perception of self esteem.

Having a positive sense of self perception and self esteem is one of the most important factors for increasing your self confidence as if you believe you will succeed at a task then the chances are you will.

If you believe you are going to fail at a task, then you will act accordingly, and the chances are you will fail.

Tips for improving self esteem:-

• Make a list of all your strengths. Remember we are all good at something. Your list could include being a good parent, a loyal friend or a trusted employee.

• Perception creates reality so perceive yourself as someone who achieves the things you set out to do.

• Remember that success builds upon success, so set yourself small goals initially, and build on them.

• Believe in yourself. For every negative belief you hold about yourself think of four positive ones. If you can’t think of beliefs that are true at the moment then think of beliefs you would like to be true that you can work towards.

• Choose two things that you know you are good at and think of three ways you could work to improve each of these even more. By concentrating on areas that you know you are already good at will improve your confidence and be a good building block for future success.

• Even if you sometimes don’t feel like it always act in a confident manner.

• Make a list of positive affirmations that you can use to encourage yourself and raise your confidence.

• Surround yourself with positive, successful, confident people.

By practicing these tips aimed at raising your confidence and self esteem, you will begin to change the way you perceive yourself and the things you are able to achieve.

Increase Your Self Esteem & Get More From Life

As your self esteem increases you can start to think about the things you used to put yourself down for and use the same techniques to build on your confidence.

Don’ allow small setbacks to diminish your newly gained self esteem. Keep it in perspective and remember it’s just that, a small setback.

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Evolving Self Confidence: How to Become Free from Anxiety Disorders and Depression

Self confidence is a general and realistic belief in one’s own abilities. Self confident people trust in their own ability to achieve goals that they plan and set out to achieve. This belief needs to be realistic.

Self confidence does not mean that an individual can achieve anything and everything, even absurd goals. It simply means that the person will have a sense of control over his own destiny, a positive frame of mind and is likely to make the best use of his talents and skills in achieving positive outcomes.

Achieving self confidence is a fine balance. Lack of self confidence or under-confidence will result in an individual doubting his abilities. Such people seek the approval of others for reassurance. They believe they have to conform to the expectations of others to fit in and be accepted. They will tend to avoid taking risks for fear of failure. They expect to fail and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Under-confident people tend to under-achieve since they have a low estimation of their abilities and therefore will not push their boundaries to achieve their best. They also tend to play down their abilities and are often uncomfortable dealing with compliments – usually discounting them.

On the other hand over confidence is not desirable either, as such individuals may tend to have unrealistically high expectations and beliefs in their abilities and therefore take unwarranted risks.

Self confidence is not necessarily all-pervasive. An individual who is completely comfortable and confident in one area of activity, say his work or profession may lack confidence in other areas such as social situations.

What factors contribute to lack of confidence?

Lack of confidence is often the result of unrealistic expectations. Constantly aiming for perfection is a certain recipe for failure which reinforces feelings of inadequacy. Children who grow up in excessively protective environments and are not allowed to develop their independence may tend to be less confident than others who are allowed to develop their own abilities and self reliance. Similarly over critical and demanding parents may undermine a child’s self confidence and cause them to continually doubt their abilities even in adult life.

What steps can be taken to improve self confidence?

Low self esteem and low self confidence are perpetuated by unhelpful and often destructive thought patterns. Self confidence may be improved by identifying the offending thinking habits and taking steps to correct them. For instance seeking acceptance and approval from everyone may be an unrealistic expectation. The fact is that in day to day life one will encounter people that will never approve of every aspect of your life. It is far more beneficial to set personal standards which are not dependent on the approval of others.

Under confident people are quite often their own worst critics. They are quick to brand themselves failures at the slightest obstacle. It is important to remember that even the most successful people encounter setbacks. What sets them apart is how they deal with that setback and venture into the future. A setback or failure in the past need not dictate the course of your entire future.

However, if at the first sign of failure you label yourself a total failure, chances are that’s exactly what you will be! Evaluate your expectations – Are they realistic? Don’t be overly critical of yourself. Refuse to accept the criticisms of others where it is unrealistic.

Give yourself credit for what you do achieve rather than focussing solely on the negatives. Resist the temptation to magnify negative outcomes out of proportion while minimizing positives.

Persons with low self esteem avoid risks and may therefore never truly find out what they are capable of. Taking calculated risks can broaden one’s horizons and help to gain greater self awareness and acceptance.

Evaluate your standards – substitute more reasonable expectations for perfectionist targets that are bound for failure. Build up to more challenging targets as your confidence grows.

Self consciousness is a major hurdle to self confidence especially in social situations. Diverting attention away from yourself can help to diffuse this situation. This can be achieved by keeping yourself occupied with other activities or focussing on the purpose of the social encounter and engaging your mind on furthering that social purpose. Not having enough to keep your mind occupied is guaranteed to produce feelings of self consciousness leading to feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and lack of confidence.

These are just a few steps that may be taken to improve levels of self confidence. Clearly it is just the tip of a very large iceberg and the most appropriate measures would of course need to be determined by individual circumstances.

I find that often time when speaking in a group I tend to get nervous when speaking and hesitate to offer my opinions/ideas because of the fear that it may sound stupid to the others. I often time stutter when I speak for that same reason. How can I just clear my mind and speak with confidence not caring about any mistakes. What is the best way to gain the confidence and improve my self esteem.